Craigslist Drama

Every time I post an ad on Craigslist these days, I get a response back almost immediately: "troll" or "eww" or "loser" or "fat old man." I'm pretty sure they're all from the same guy, who has decided to have a hate-on for me (and maybe for all guys older than twink-age). I can't tell, though, because Craigslist has this new functionality where the identity of email respondents can be hidden (subject line is always "Craigslist Reply [four random letters and words]"). The tone is always the same, but it's a pretty easy tone, especially given the shortness of the replies.

This might be a trick who I mistakenly told my house was on the right side of the street rather than the left side of the street one time. I watched him pull up and stare forlornly at the counseling center on the right side of the street. If I'd known it was him, I'd have gotten his attention, but I had no idea for sure (until later). When he got home he emailed me, furious. I explained to him that I had made a mistake, but he said, no, my house really is on the right side of the street and I obviously just wasn't answering the door. He had my street address, and house number, and yet he's still convinced that it was on the wrong side of the street. And angry about it! Also, he mentioned (contradicting himself) that he saw me watching him and also that he "heard my dogs" (which I had put out in the back yard to keep them from bothering us while we played, of course). I got a few hateful emails from him after that. He really went off the deep end. I had to stop using the ass pic that I used in the ad that attracted him in the first place because every time he saw it he went off into another tear of righteous fury. "I'd know that ass anywhere," he'd say.

So it might be him.

Or it might just be some random silly little gay boy who hates old, fat dudes just because. I used to be one of those boys. I'd drive around the "gay park" in my hometown and run redlights just to keep from talking to them, instead of politely declining. It was about my own fear of growing old, of course, and being a sad lonely "homosexual" desperate for sex. Generally, though, I failed to throw attitude at them until they actually tried to hit on me (how dare they assume that I would sink so low as to do them! what an insult!). That's not what I'm doing in my Craigslist ads. In fact, I'm very specific in my Craigslist ads that I prefer guys around my own age. And that I am fat. Etc.

One time there was a guy at the adult bookstore in Indiana who walked in the place, came up to where I was standing, and said, to my face, "troll" and walked away. I didn't get upset because I had just been fucked by a hot Latino guy, and also because the little bitch wasn't interesting to me in the least anyway. He did the same thing to almost everybody in the place. The ones who weren't older, he'd call fat. The ones who weren't older or fat, he'd just look at and say, "no." What I noticed is that he spent a lot of time doing this, which struck me as a sad way to spend a lot of time. But to each his own. It obviously gave him some kind of pleasure.

So, assuming that it's that kind of thing, and not the one specific crazy guy who thinks I live on the other side of the street, here's what I'd say to my harasser, if I ever responded (I don't respond, because my experience on the Internet is that a response always makes the harassment worse):

Someday, you too will be in your forties, if you are lucky. You will face the arrogance of the young in the same way that I do: with some amusement and a ton of indifference. I have been you before. I know what motivates your fear of older men and your desire to run them out of the spaces where you look for sex. But you know what else? You will be me (again, like I said, if you're lucky). By that time, though, I will probably be dead, and will therefore give even less of a fuck. You, on the other hand, will look back on these emails you've been sending me with embarrassment. And you will think of me. You will always think of me.

Having Trouble Taking Dicks

Went to one of the ABSs in Louisville. It's been a while since I've cruised, in part because of the police pressures on my favorite bookstore, over in Indiana, and in part because of an extended bout of what turned out to be norovirus.

Anyway, the first dick I sucked was an older black man who really got into fucking my throat pretty hard. His dick wasn't all that big, but it was dirty and smelly -- cigarettes and sweat -- and when he came, his cum was so nasty-tasting, thick, and shot so hard into my throat, that I couldn't help but gag. It's been years since I've truly gagged (other than faking it for guys to get off). The guy really liked gagging me and made sure to push it harder down my throat as I gagged. I found this uncomfortable at the time but also a turn-on.

Next was a chubby guy, also black, who let me suck it a while then started playing with my ass. I immediately jumped up, pulled my pants down, and gave it to him. It hurt, though! I haven't hurt that bad since I was a teenager taking cock. He finally came and I went home to shit blood and cum into the toilet.

I don't know what's gotten into me. I guess my virginity of mouth and ass grew back while I was out of commission!

First Load of 500 for 2013

My boyfriend and I decided to drive down to an ABS about an hour south of Louisville today. This place has a couple of "theaters" which are really just big rooms with lots of cheap love seats in them, and a large TV. There is also a hallway of video booths, some of which have gloryholes. Until today, I hadn't been there in a long time, partially due to the distance, and partially because they charge $20 just to get in. Thanks to the police activity at my local favorite spot, and general paranoia, we decided the drive and the extra expense would be worth it.

When we first got there my boyfriend disappeared. Later I found him, by looking through one of the gloryholes: he was aggressively eating out the ass of a short, dusty-clothed redneck boy with black hair and a wedding band.

Nobody else in the place would do: random cocksuckers, one of whom was an 80-year-old man in a little black dress (but making no other attempts to appear feminine).

One of the love seats in the "straight" theater is positioned so that you can see everybody who comes in the place. All the loves seats, though cheap, were nice and fully-upholstered and plump, except for this one, which had a deeply messed-up, worn-out spot in the one place you could sit and see the entrance. That's where I sat. I read ebooks on my phone for a while.

Eventually a very sexy, lanky, rednecky, cleancut blond guy came in, maybe 24 or 25. Kind of a cross between Owen Wilson and the skinny version of Matthew McConaughey, except more clean-cut than either of those guys. I jumped up to follow him into the hallway of booths, and so did another cocksucker, a black guy who had been sitting opposite me, also monitoring the door. The guy went into a booth with a gloryhole, and the other cocksucker beat me to the companion booth, but when the guy saw who was on the other side he started walking back out of his booth (he never had quite gotten the door shut). Then he saw me, and nodded me in. I think he was probably racist or something. I guess I shouldn't approve, but I wanted to suck him, and any advantage is an advantage in a situation like that.

He sat in the chair in the booth and pulled on his cock. It was larger than most, curved upward toward his belly, and fat as the cardboard tube inside a toilet paper roll, if you squeezed the tube a little so that it wasn't perfectly round. I wasn't able to get him down my throat (which is rare), but that may have been because of the recent sinus cold, and still-lingering tenderness in the back of my throat. Anyway, he was very appreciative of the blowjob, making hissing sounds between his teeth and asking me if I "liked that big fat cock" with an accent that could have come right out of one of those gator-hunting characters on reality TV.

I got him to titty-fuck me but he didn't like it. My boyfriend was watching through the hole and he said that the guy looked shocked. After a while, the guy just said, "Hey, suck it."

Which I did.

He had tiny balls, like peanuts.

When he came, I hardly tasted it, though I could feel it squirting onto my tongue. I've never had cum taste so tasteless before.

My boyfriend ran up to me afterwards, "You bitch!" He thinks he deserves all the dick. But he doesn't! He doesn't deserve all the dick! I do!

We hung out there about an hour longer. I sucked on two fifty-something chubby trucker guys but neither of them was able to cum, so they don't count.

Load total so far this year: 1.

Goal: 500.

To go: 499.

I've Sucked 3 More Since Last Post

Renovation at the ABS in Indiana is complete. You'll be happy to know that after replacing the old TVs with new TVs (and getting rid of the gloryholes in the process), they went back in and put the gloryholes back in -- larger, in some cases. I don't know why they got rid of them while putting the new TVs in. Weird.

I kind of miss the old gloryholes -- the ones that were there until about a month ago. Those were the exact gloryholes I've been taking cock through for more than two decades. I had my sentimental memories, you know? Silly, but true.

This is the second time in as many months that they've gotten rid of all the gloryholes then put them back. The first time it happened, "straight guy needing a blowjob" traffic died down immediately and didn't come back for a while. We're still in the "died down" phase right now. Lots of cocksuckers hanging out, but very few cocks. Accordingly, my standards are still a little lower than usual.

The first guy I want to tell you about was middle-aged, black haired, walked with a limp, had a very big, nice cock that pointed hard to his left, and banged his head on the wall on the other side when he came. He was the only guy I got off that night, though I did mess around with a few others who didn't cum.

Generally, if a guy doesn't cum, I don't count him as having had sex with me.

That was, I think, this past Wednesday.

Last night, I sucked two cocks. On Friday and Saturday nights at this place there's usually a number of straight couples who stop by and have sex in the booths, and they have their own 'fans' who hang out and wait for them -- usually chubby, unhappy-looking straight guys. The gloryhole interruption has put a crimp in that arrangement, just like it has for my kind of cruising. There were a handful of the straight guys hanging out waiting for couples, but no couples. I managed to suck off two of these guys. I know they were there for the couples because I've seen them cruise couples before -- they run around in packs, whispering to each other, heading each other off at the pass, worse than queens about it. I've also seen them "score" before. So their straight creds are real. I think they only did it with me last night because I was a last resort.

Both were pudgy guys with beards, kind of wheezy. The first one, who I've sucked before, has a very nice, big, fat cock. I went into a booth with him to suck it. The second guy let me suck him through the gloryhole, but only after he had been there for several hours. Like I said: last resort.

I hope it picks up soon.

Hot or Not: Making My Mouth Look Like a Pussy

I can curl my tongue around on itself to make it into a tunnel. Most people can't do this.

Sometimes when I am at the gloryhole, I hold my tongue like that in the hopes of making my mouth look more like a pussy. But I'm not sure if it's really working. It also kind of looks like a dog dick, which is maybe gross.

If you saw this through the gloryhole:

 Or this, in person:

... would it turn you on or off? Does it make you want to fuck the pink? Or disgust you?

Also (and this is important), what kind of guy are you? Are you gay, straight, bi, etc? Just there to get your dick sucked, versatile, what? I need to know this because I think it may turn on the right kinds of guys (straight, just there to get off, horny and needing relief), and turn off the kinds I'm not interested in. Or maybe not. I just don't know. That's why I'm asking!

The Cruising Gods Must Be Punishing Me ...

... for having such a good time last Tuesday night.

I went to the same book store tonight only to find that they'd blocked off one of the rows and one of the aisles with plyboard -- basically cutting the whole space down by 1/3. I'm not good at describing spatial relationships, so I'll draw pictures instead. Here's what the space used to look like:

Here's what the space looks like now:

With the old layout, there was just more circulation and tactical maneuverability. Somebody could come in and you could double around and catch him coming the other way, instead of following his ass like the desperate old queens do. And so on. With the new layout, cruisers get stuck in the dead ends and collect along the walls, standing in front of the booth doors giggling with each other and gossiping. I find this kind of atmosphere kills the sexy-- it makes me irritable, for one thing, and it also scares off the "straight" guys I like, because the space they're entering just feels too, well, frankly, nellie, when you've got a bunch of cackling queens in a knitting circle. The guys I'm after don't like to be reminded that they're here for, you know, the gay. The only way to get a guy, even if he did run the gauntlet, is if he happened to go into the booth directly beside where you chose to stand -- there's no chasing around corners or out-smarting the followers, with this layout. It's more luck-of-the-draw.

I don't like it.

I left after five minutes.

Hopefully they're doing something interesting with that blocked-off space, though (that it has its own door -- the one that used to be the exit -- is intriguing).