Craigslist Drama

Every time I post an ad on Craigslist these days, I get a response back almost immediately: "troll" or "eww" or "loser" or "fat old man." I'm pretty sure they're all from the same guy, who has decided to have a hate-on for me (and maybe for all guys older than twink-age). I can't tell, though, because Craigslist has this new functionality where the identity of email respondents can be hidden (subject line is always "Craigslist Reply [four random letters and words]"). The tone is always the same, but it's a pretty easy tone, especially given the shortness of the replies.

This might be a trick who I mistakenly told my house was on the right side of the street rather than the left side of the street one time. I watched him pull up and stare forlornly at the counseling center on the right side of the street. If I'd known it was him, I'd have gotten his attention, but I had no idea for sure (until later). When he got home he emailed me, furious. I explained to him that I had made a mistake, but he said, no, my house really is on the right side of the street and I obviously just wasn't answering the door. He had my street address, and house number, and yet he's still convinced that it was on the wrong side of the street. And angry about it! Also, he mentioned (contradicting himself) that he saw me watching him and also that he "heard my dogs" (which I had put out in the back yard to keep them from bothering us while we played, of course). I got a few hateful emails from him after that. He really went off the deep end. I had to stop using the ass pic that I used in the ad that attracted him in the first place because every time he saw it he went off into another tear of righteous fury. "I'd know that ass anywhere," he'd say.

So it might be him.

Or it might just be some random silly little gay boy who hates old, fat dudes just because. I used to be one of those boys. I'd drive around the "gay park" in my hometown and run redlights just to keep from talking to them, instead of politely declining. It was about my own fear of growing old, of course, and being a sad lonely "homosexual" desperate for sex. Generally, though, I failed to throw attitude at them until they actually tried to hit on me (how dare they assume that I would sink so low as to do them! what an insult!). That's not what I'm doing in my Craigslist ads. In fact, I'm very specific in my Craigslist ads that I prefer guys around my own age. And that I am fat. Etc.

One time there was a guy at the adult bookstore in Indiana who walked in the place, came up to where I was standing, and said, to my face, "troll" and walked away. I didn't get upset because I had just been fucked by a hot Latino guy, and also because the little bitch wasn't interesting to me in the least anyway. He did the same thing to almost everybody in the place. The ones who weren't older, he'd call fat. The ones who weren't older or fat, he'd just look at and say, "no." What I noticed is that he spent a lot of time doing this, which struck me as a sad way to spend a lot of time. But to each his own. It obviously gave him some kind of pleasure.

So, assuming that it's that kind of thing, and not the one specific crazy guy who thinks I live on the other side of the street, here's what I'd say to my harasser, if I ever responded (I don't respond, because my experience on the Internet is that a response always makes the harassment worse):

Someday, you too will be in your forties, if you are lucky. You will face the arrogance of the young in the same way that I do: with some amusement and a ton of indifference. I have been you before. I know what motivates your fear of older men and your desire to run them out of the spaces where you look for sex. But you know what else? You will be me (again, like I said, if you're lucky). By that time, though, I will probably be dead, and will therefore give even less of a fuck. You, on the other hand, will look back on these emails you've been sending me with embarrassment. And you will think of me. You will always think of me.

Not Writing About Craigslist Tricks Anymore

The problem with writing about Craigslist tricks is that they sometimes find the blog and recognize themselves. This makes some number of them not want to mess around with me anymore:

1. They think of themselves as "on the downlow" and knowing that I am writing about my experiences -- even though nobody else in the world would recognize them from my description -- freaks them out. "On the downlow" is about not leaving any trace or track in the real world, as if the thing you did with the fag never happened: for some of these guys, that's part of the sexiness of it.

2. They "didn't realize" that I was taking so much other cock until they read the blog, and are afraid to mess around with such a slut. I'm, like, dude, within two minutes of meeting me you had your cock up my ass, within ten minutes you were giving me your load, and then you left -- and you're surprised I'm a slut? But whatever. If it bothers them enough to make them deny me their dick, then it doesn't matter if they're being irrational or not -- all that matters is that I get their dick.

I'll continue to post about bookstore tricks because those are fair game -- they're in a semi-public place, and they're much less likely to find this blog anyway.

I will tell you that last Thursday I got three Craigslist tricks, and all three fucked my ass (one with a condom so he probably doesn't count).

Fat Black Guy With Smelly Dick

The fact that some of my tricks actually read this blog is making writing it more and more tricky. I don't mean to be rude, but I feel like I have obligation to tell the truth, too. The person I'm writing about might enjoy a faked-out overly-polite version of what happened, but the rest of the readers come here for the real story. Right? It's one thing if I set up a meeting with a blog fan who originally discovered me because of the blog. They at least know what they're getting into before they get into it. But now that I'm using Craigslist, I'm getting guys who Google my email address and find this blog later, after I've sucked them, or maybe even right before, while they're on the way over to the house. It's not like these guys are celebrities, who live their lives in public and are used to -- and well-rewarded for -- dealing with the press. These are just normal guys who want to get off, and they should not be punished for it, and didn't really sign up for public scrutiny. They don't deserve to be made fun of in public.

Even if their dicks are smelly and taste nasty.

But holy crap. Last night, I set up an appointment with a guy who was very honest about his fatness (I appreciate that -- being fat myself). He didn't tell me that his dick was going to be smelly and nasty-tasting. I guess he didn't realize. But it was.

I sucked it like a good cocksucker and sent him on his way, though.

Guy, if you are reading this: you're a nice guy, and I'll suck you again, and I don't mean to make fun -- but please, please, please wash your dick before you put it in a cocksucker's mouth again!

:)

Also, I'm going to start using a different email address for my Craigslist ads.

First Craigslist Ass-Fuck in a While

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Couple of Post-Holiday Cocks

Took a break from taking cock over Thanksgiving, due to a family member's extended visit and general busy-ness, so I was pretty much desperate for cock by yesterday.

I'm still not doing the bookstores for a while.

So here's what I did. I emailed several of my former Craigslist tricks to see if they wanted to get together. That's one of the few advantages of the Craigslist scene -- you can get back in touch with people you enjoyed messing around with, as opposed to gloryhole sex, where it's catch as catch can. Only one responded --  a black guy with a very, very large cock -- I think I've written about him already. The time we got together, he had to have a friend of his drop him off, and he took the bus home afterwards. That's dedication. This time, he just wanted to see if I'd get my boyfriend involved with a three-way with him. I told him I'd give it a whirl. My boyfriend would not be getting off from work for a few hours at the time we were having this conversation.

I figured it would be boring having two bottoms (me and my boyfriend) and one top, so I asked the guy if it would be okay if I put out an ad looking for more tops. He was totally into it.

So I did.

I got about six responses.

By the end of the night, though, only one guy -- not the one I had emailed initially, but somebody who saw the ad -- actually showed up. Even my boyfriend didn't play. This guy was kind of rednecky, skinny for a redneck, though, and smelled strongly of cigarettes. I took him upstairs to my bed. I sucked him a while, took him a good amount of time to get hard, then he pushed me back on the bed and started sucking me -- which I'm not into at all. After a while he turned me over and tried to stick his dick in, but he wanted to just slam it in all at once, like it was a pussy, and he was neither big enough nor hard enough to accomplish this feat. He'd pull out, hold my hole open with his fingers, and then wham! And every time his dick would bend or go over to the side. I am not a tight-assed virgin. There was no reason, except for his own clumsiness and his insistence on doing it his own way, that his dick wasn't going in. Eventually he came just by frottaging his dickhead along my asshole, which was fine by me. He kept apologizing afterwards for cumming so soon, and I assured him that my only goal is to get the guy off, I don't care how or how long it takes, but he wouldn't hear it.

That was last night.

I had also posted an ad earlier in the day yesterday to find "straight" guys needing blowjobs, but nobody answered in time before my boyfriend got home from work. One guy, though, did set up an appointment for today at 11:30. I had forgotten about him until he emailed me just before showing up. Pudgy, balding middle-aged guy. After I sucked him off, he mentioned that he had "checked up on me" on the Internet -- I guess by Googling my email address. I don't know if this is a good thing or not, but I'm starting to think that every guy I suck knows who I am. Almost makes me afraid to write about them sometimes. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings!

About a Quarter Cup of Pearly Jizz Floating in my Toilet Bowl (Also: my tips on writing good Craigslist ads)

This post represents a change in the way I'm approaching the blog. Generally, my idea was to document every cock that shoots a load into my mouth or my ass. As I got busy, I fell behind (there's about a month's worth of backlog, as I've mentioned -- more than 40 separate incidents of men using my holes), so I started taking notes and thinking I'd catch up later. I have hardly ever actually caught up. And the reality is that when I write about an experience immediately after it happens, the post is better and more detailed than if I wait a month or two. I often completely forget what my notes are referring to by the time I write my post!

So here's what I'm going to do. I'd still like for this blog to eventually document every single cock I've been jizzed by since I started writing it, and I've still got my notes, but I'm also going to go ahead and write about sex that I've just had, too -- when it happens that I have a chance to blog in the immediate afterglow. There's no reason to be so structured about it. Since I am going to be doing less bookstore cruising and more Craigslist cruising (due to the arrests at my favorite bookstore, see previous post), this means I'll probably be more likely to blog immediately after sex, since my computer is right here in the same room I got fucked in (or whatever).

Which is what just happened.

I have found that on Craigslist, it helps to be very, very specific about what you want. If you like a wide variety of guys like I do, you need to think of each Craigslist ad as a specific "ad campaign" targeting only a particular type of guy. Just because that's how people use Craigslist. Also, if you're not a hot and sexy twink (which I am not), you need to be brutally honest about your shortcomings, and even try to tailor your ad to people who actually have a fetish for the things that you personally may not like about yourself. For example, I am an overweight, mostly hairless white guy with a very large ass. There are not a lot of guys who will especially go out of their way to get a blowjob from me -- if they saw me at an adult bookstore and they wanted a blowjob, sure, but if they're browsing Craigslist they're not going to go, oh, yeah, THAT is specifically the guy that I want. On the other hand, there are plenty of guys -- especially black guys, especially black guys with very large dicks -- who are specifically looking for big fat white asses to fuck. So even though I like a lot more guys than black guys, and I like a lot more activities than getting fucked, I tend to have success on Craigslist when I emphasize my big fat white ass, and I specify that I'm looking for black guys to fuck it, especially black guys with very large dicks (the large dick thing and the fat fetish thing seem to go hand in hand -- I guess fat bitches can take a large one better than skinny bitches can?).

Which is what I did.

I got three responses right away but you have to assume that two of the three will flake. Maybe even three of the three. The guy who ended up coming over was endearing because he had to have a friend drop him off, with the intention of taking the bus back home once he was done. That's dedication. If you live in a big city you probably don't understand: Louisville has a shitty, slow, inconvenient public transportation system. And it is a cold night.

He was a short, skinny, healthy-looking, clean middle-class, handsome-looking black guy in his late twenties to mid thirties, with whiskey on his breath. His dick turned out to be bigger than it appeared in the photo he sent me. About nine inches long and about as thick as the cardboard tube inside a toilet paper roll.

First we tried it with me on my knees on the couch hanging my ass off the edge. It hurt going in at first. He scolded me: "Stand still and let me get that dick in there." Once he got it in and fucked in and out a bit I was able to push back, and even milk it with my ass muscles a bit. He fucked me really hard, then slowed down and fucked me really slow, then really hard again, then pulled out completely and just rubbed the head around my asslips. He liked it when I squeezed with my muscles, but every now and then my squeezing hit the wrong pace and caused his dick to miss and bend and pop out. I started warning him when I was going to squeeze.

He wanted to try it with me on my back, and we did, but that didn't work at all. My feet are stinky, and I'm a very fat guy, and my couch is tiny, and whatever. Back on my knees.

He kept asking me about other guys who had fucked me, and he wanted to know if my boyfriend and I had ever taken cock at the same time from different guys. He wanted to know if I was a slut. He wanted to know how many dicks I've had (Ha!). I told him as much as he wanted to know. Seems he might be into a group scene someday, which I should file away. I'd love to get him and some other guys in a hotel room somewhere taking turns on my ass.

He finally settled in to a rhythm of very short, hard, rocking fucks, which hit my prostate just the right way and made me start making little kitten noises (I could tell he liked them, and that's why I did it at first, but after about ten minutes of hardcore prostate massage it was more like a deep, gutteral groan I was putting out, completely unconsciously). I actually did cum just a tiny little bit from the fucking.

He came a lot. I mean: as soon as he left, I went to shit it out, and what looked like at least a quarter cup of pearly jizz is floating in my toilet right now. I still feel more slime up in my ass, too.

After that, I posted another ad just very generically saying that I'm available to suck cock. I did get one response, but he didn't come over tonight. When he saw my email address, he asked, "What do I have to do to get you to write about me in your blog?" Either he googled the email address after he got my first response, and found this site, or he was already a reader. Either way: cool! I told him the truth: all you have to do is bust a load into my mouth or my ass. Maybe he will.

Three Cocks from One Craigslist Ad, and a Thought on the Cocksucker vs. Cocksuckee Demographics

Still catching up on my old notes.

This would have been the middle of last month (September of 2012).

I posted an ad on Craigslist inviting straight guys to come over and use my mouth and/or ass. Seems like there's a ton of those ads on Craigslist, and if you didn't read between the lines, you'd think that the whole world is full of cocksuckers and there are no cocks to be found. I think a lot of sluts give up. I always get some when I post an ad, though, no matter how many other fags there are who have also posted. I think there's still more guys looking for blowjobs or butts to fuck than there are cocksuckers or ass-whores -- but the "straight" guys don't place ads. Why would they? The bitches are all lined up panting waiting for the cock. They get to pick and choose.

The first guy who answered was a skinny black guy with an enormous, fat, long curved cock. He said he was going to fuck me in his emails, but once he got here I ended up just sucking him off. He never made a move on my ass. I did get it all the way down my throat, which I don't think he was used to (he gasped). Eventually he worked up the courage to put his hands on the back of my head and force-fuck me. I always like it when they figure out that that's cool, on their own.

That was the only cock I got that day, but I got two more cocks from the same ad the next day. I guess in Louisville people read the older ads in addition to the newer ones.

The first guy that second day was somebody I had done before. He's middle-aged, wears a suit, looks like a trim used car salesman. His cock twists sideways from his body. I may have written about him before. Anyway, he came over, I sucked him, he left.

The second guy was a young cable installation contractor with tattoos all over his body and a shaved head. He asked me for my "stats" in his email, which is usually a turn-off for me (my favorite kind of guy is the kind who just wants a fucking mouth or ass to fuck and doesn't give a fuck), but followed it up with a second email, "Not that it really matters," almost immediately. He smelled and tasted strongly of cigarettes once he arrived. He stood the whole time while I sucked him off. Didn't take long, though he never got hard until just before he was ready to cum. I think he might have been the guy who originally installed our cable (they looked similar, anyway), but that's been seven years ago now, so I can't be certain.

If there were more cocksuckers than cocksuckees, I wouldn't have gotten three cocks from one ad. It's obvious that the numbers are in the cocksuckers' favor. It's just that one cocksucking satisfies the guy getting sucked, but the cocksucker needs more, more, more, so they're always looking.

I Think My Standards Are Slipping

Yesterday I did the Craigslist thing. I generally don't like cruising that way, for all the obvious reasons (guys who are not real; guys who just want to email back and forth and get pics; guys who say they are on their way but never show up, etc). Sometimes it works out, though. I posted two ads -- one about how I wanted to eat jizz, and one about getting my manpussy fucked (I know it's not really a pussy, but I like the kind of guys who are turned on by thinking about it that way). I ended up getting three loads out of the two ads. Two of the guys responded to the manpussy ad. One of them responded to the blowjob ad. Nobody fucked me, though.

The first guy was just a kid. He had answered the blowjob ad. He did have tattoos, which you have to be older than 18 to get. Otherwise I'd have been worried. He looked very young to me. It was obviously his parents' house, and it was obviously the bedroom he grew up in, with all his teen stuff still up on the walls -- football trophies and such. He was a thuggish light-skinned black kid with a thick gold chain that went all the way down to his waist. He pulled his pants down, sat on the edge of his bed, then laid back. "You'll have to get me hard," he said. That wasn't a problem. His cock, once hard, turned out to be enormous. I'd say ten inches at least. Started out normal-thickness at the top but got very thick at the base. I sucked it all the way down (he freaked out a little when I did that -- in a good way). I couldn't do it but once. I usually don't have any problem fucking down hard over and over into my throat-chute, but there was something about the angle that made me gag more than usual. He didn't mind. I got his load after a while. He called me "baby" when he came, as in, "I'm about to cum, baby." He gently held my head and tried to push it all the way down again, but I couldn't take it quite down to the pubes. His head was past my throat-threshold when he came, though.

"I got to be discreet about this," he told me, as we were getting dressed.

"Of course," I said.

The next guy was another thuggish black guy who lived in a halfway house or boarding house or something like that. He had a wide face, a white dew-rag, was very friendly and horny. His dick wasn't nearly as big as the other guy's -- just a normal dick, curving up. He laid flat on his bed, wanted me to lay facing his cock and suck it while he slapped my ass. I was happy to oblige. He came a lot. It didn't have a taste to it, it was so thick. He had answered the assfucking ad, but didn't end up fucking my ass.

The third guy -- the only white guy of the evening -- had also answered the assfucking ad. He'd said in his emails that he was a straight dominant top, but I got to his house and it was all fagged-out with decor. You know what I mean? Little cute dog and four-poster bed. He looked kind of like Lurch. I sucked him and got out of there. He wasn't somebody I would have done normally.

That was all yesterday.

Today I went to Theatair X and sucked off a fat guy with a tiny dick who watched gay porn while I sucked him. He seemed straight except for the "watching gay porn" part. I told myself it was because that is what happened to start playing when he put his quarter in (I was already sucking him when that happened), and he was too into the blowjob to change it. But still. He did change the volume.

My standards are slipping. I gotta get a grip.